From Joy & Strength, May 12: To do wilfully and knowingly what God hates, destroys faith, and hope, and love. ~Edward Pusey
From May 14: …if all such things [trifles] were met with a momentary uplifting of the heart to God, all these little frailties and worries would tend to mould the character more and more to God’s pattern, and they would assuredly lose their sting; for he who things much of God will daily think less of himself. ~H. L. Sidney Lear
There is an emptiness like a calm that comes from deadness. I close my eyes and wait to see what I feel, and it’s like trying to feel at home in a house where everyone and everything have moved out. There are no decorations, no furnishings, only the smell of house and the echoey sound of my black shoes on the wood floor. I know that I am the one who has given away and sold all the things in the house, yielding exactly that–a house instead of a home. I am relegating Your Holy Spirit to a basement apartment instead of fully welcoming Him into every single room.
Lord, God, please break my heart with what breaks Yours. I cannot keep living like this–existing and getting by, waiting for the elusive “more.”
Daddy, please grant me the gift of the desire to want what You want, to want to align my will with Yours. Please, Daddy, deliver me… from me.
